Shadow Disrespect

It was almost twelve months ago now when Mr. J passed. My beloved spiritual teacher that came into time for a short while to assist me. Yes, in the body of a black greyhound was a being of Perfect Love that is greater than anyone I have met in time. 

A few weeks before he passed I was told something by spirit. The neighbors were projecting the shadow of disrespect my way. In the end, whilst he died of a cat scratch disease, the true cause of this suffering was the shadow of disrespect. Truth be told, if I had not of disrespected God - as part of the belief in separation from Source - then I could not have been hurt or harmed by this wound. Why is this so? Well, I would have extended the light of Perfect Love, that knows respect, thus the shadow of disrespect could not enter. This is what it means that the fault is within, not without.

Over the past year, I have done much inner work on this. Oh... I cannot tell you of the darkness that I moved through. So painful and punishing was this hurt I was shocked by my own response. I do not believe I have ever felt such hatred for another. The depths of disgust I have fallen to were surprising to myself. You see, I was reliving the moment of separation from Source. For Mr. J was the closest being to God that I have had the honor of experiencing. In fact, he even told me of his impending passing. 

Yet, here I am. A year into this true healing with The Treasure Map. No longer angry or abusive to my old neighbors. I have come to see that it was an accident. Yet, I am still unable to forgive myself for opening the door on that fateful day which let Mr J out of my sight. This is still a work in progress. However, I recently found myself being disrespectful of another. I hurled my own abusive language toward a man.

This shows me that I still have disrespect concealed within. I must continue to clean it up when it is seen, so that I can escape the shadow of disrespect entirely.

You see, it is not about pretending all is well and concealing the hidden hate and secret sin with a fake smile. The shadows of separation must be looked at, truly forgiven, to become freed from.

And no, the journey from the wrong mind (ego) to the right mind (being) is not straight-forward. There are twists and turns. As you learn to navigate the darkness to reclaim the light.

When you come to know the reality of the shadows of separation from Source, you will know true spirituality and what those that have gone before truly meant. You see, The Seven Deadly Sins stem from the shadows of separation from Source. This is the true meaning of the darkness and deception we all must cross until we remember truth, trust & totality. This belongs to the right mind, the mind you currently know as your intuition.

Now, getting back to this man that I recently hurled unkind words filled with disrespect, what was it that set me off? Well, I was simply trying to set some boundaries. I had been doing so for the past few years, being unwelcome to his stories of sexuality. You see, I simply do not wish to know about his "playtime" beneath the sheets. And he continued to overshare. In this moment, I let him know that I honestly did not care about what was happening with this part of this life. To which he responded with angst, "It is because you do not have any fun. You never have. You do not know what fun is." I then took great offence. This is when I stopped bottling up my feelings and really let them out. It was time for the fake smile to be forgot, for I had another Truforgiveness opportunity approaching.

You see, I do know what true fun is. For this man, it is woven with sexual gratification, but for me, the truth of fun is basking in the stillness of Perfect Love. Where the peace of God reside. We have vastly different opinions on what "fun" means. Until that is, we reunite in the right mind where differences or darkness cannot reside.

In fact, after Mr J left, he offered a few words from spirit to me. And one of these enlightening gifts was "It was fun." Truth be told, if you asked me what my five (5) years with Mr. J were like, I too would describe them as fun. The most fun that I have ever had in this five (5) decades of time that I have move through. Yes, the happiest I have ever been was being in the presence of Mr. J. He actually came when COVID hit. When the world closed down and we were held hostage in our home alone. There I was with this being of Perfect Love, the luckiest girl in the world.

After Mr. J left I had a dream. I knew who he was, and of the "spiritual specialness" that he is. And in this nightly vision I remember saying to God. I too must be "spiritually special" for you to grant Mr. J to me. For he is beyond all worth in the world. There is nothing more valuable than him. And it was me, that got to spend those years in his presence. Learning about true greatness, completion not competition.

I cannot tell you how worthless the things of this world are. Now, this does not mean you do not seek to have a beautiful home or a safe car, but the true value belongs to being not to body.

So, what was the "fun" that I had with Mr. J? I got to bask in his presence of perfect peace and luscious love. No longer could darkness enter. Honestly, there are no words to adequately describe this experience. But what I do know is this. Mr. J communicated with me via the right mind of peace and love. A communication without words, but one that fulfilled my spirit. There was no loneliness or lack, for he was so complete. And this he granted those years with me. What an absolute treasure.

I know why he came into my orbit. For he needed to show me the way that I was to go. I will follow him, for he is worthy and deserving of my loyalty and love. Not the wrong mind that the belief in separation from Source that teaches of the shadows of suffering.

Mr. J you are beyond "fun". I will treasure you forever. And apart from The Treasure Map, you will always be my greatest gift God has granted to me. At this time. But, I have been told I have another love like Mr. J yet to reach me. I have been told that this will be pure, as his love is. And whilst I did not name Mr. J myself - as he was gifted to me - his name actually means "bearer of treasure," which I find fascinating. As he came to assist to teach me about The Treasure Map. 

The word "fun" will be different everyone, for words are but symbols of symbols. Thus, they are twice removed. What does this mean? Well, it means a word is what you deem it to be, what it is filled with for you. This is why words on their own cannot be truth, for truth can have nothing oppose it.

To this man I recently set my boundaries with, "fun" means a dalliance under the sheets with women. There is nothing wrong with this. It simply is not what it means to me. For me, "fun" is soaking up in the stillness of Perfect Love, something that Mr. J granted me. Oh, I simply had the best time with Mr. J. The happiness was pure joy. What a gift. Beyond valuable. And for those that are ACIM students, this is the true meaning of value the Course speaks of. The remembrance of the truth of completion. Something Mr. J embodied.

It is time to understand truth, and one such way is to withdraw the shadows until they are gone, which is what The Treasure Map grants.

The true cause of suffering always stems from some aspect of the belief in separation from Source. It is time to unite - in the right mind - where we are the same and not separate. However, you must go through the darkness to find the light. And it is this The Treasure Map that makes it so.

What can we deem about this story of separation. I am being tasked to clean up the shadow of disrespect to find the light of respect. At first I was seeing it without, now, because I started to withdraw this within, I can now see it in myself. This is how you will become truly forgiven, as I will as well. When this shadow has been purified from fear to love.

Take care. And remember, to forgive yourself is to forgive the one that you project blame upon. This is how you will become truly forgiven.

Much love, peace, and Truforgiveness,